Abusive Retaliation/Paybacks

Little Bird Flies

Abusive Payback_retaliation.jpg

A phenomenon that victims experience, but don’t always have the words to express, is called Abusive Retaliation or Paybacks. Now, this may automatically leave us thinking about the courts and the retaliation a victim might experience after she reports, leaves or files for protection and yes, this retaliation is a well documented concern. However, Paybacks go on all throughout an abusive relationship. An abuser will always pay the victim back in order to teach her a lesson. That lesson might be to not ask him for anything, to not become too independent from him or just because he doesn’t like something that happened and he blames her for it. Retaliation rarely comes with communication or an explanation that the abuse is retaliating, however, the victim senses that that is exactly what is happening, even if she doesn’t have the words to express it.

Paybacks/retaliation is usually a passive aggressive, manipulative technique that is covert and insidious…

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